Just minutes to leave the US

I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight out of the US. I hope everybody have a nice summer and I will update you as soon as I get to a computer. Pray for us...

Vany

Are we there yet?

It is a crappy, gloomy day here in Kansas City, MO. I am sitting at the airport waiting to be called back since our flight to Dallas was delayed for three hours because of the wonderful Texas weather. I just heard over the intercom that our flight was cancelled so I guess I should find out what is going to happen.

Well, I guess that after all the anticipation; we are not going to be leaving today after all. There was very bad weather systems in Dallas, Texas and all the flights coming in and going out were cancelled—including ours, of course. We do not know when we are leaving now but at least Trace did not leave yet and he got to stay with me for a little bit longer, or at least until they tell us that our flight is ready. I will let you know when I leave, meanwhile, pray for my friends and me.

The time has come, the saddest day in my life…

The time finally here for us to be “leaving on a jet plane”—like somebody once said—and begin our new adventures in a foreign land far, far away. When said like that, it sounds like if it was the beginning of a fairy tale but there is no fairy tales here to tell. The approach of this administration has not changed at all during the past four years, we “stay the course” against all odds. A man named Benjamin Franklin once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” This I find to be true in our personal lives as well as in our government. Referring to our government:

I believe history has been recorded, taught and told in order to provide us with a tool to lean on, a tool by which we can make wiser and more sensible decisions. Previous wars fought should serve as a recount of lessons learned; still, it seems we continue to make similar mistakes while refusing to make changes. Many people believe that those who do not know their history bound to repeat it, well…I guess this could be the case.

I spent Memorial Day weekend with my family in Washington. Once again, the rhododendron
were blooming, the irises were also at full bloom and our yard looked like a fairy wonderland. I enjoyed my time at home and—amazingly—it felt as if it was much more than four days.

We went deep-sea fishing and caught 40 rockfish (sea bass) and 2 lingcods—yummy, yummy for my tummy. We also took long walks on the beach, played in the yard and just tried to spend some quality time with each other. I was surprised to see how strong my babies are being for me.

Although it was hard to leave them, their continued effort to try to make me feel better amazed me, and it is—still—giving me the strength I need to carry on with this next chapter of my life.

Trace flew back with me to Kansas so he can see me leave and take the Blazer back home. It was nice to have him here with me and show him how I have been living for the past three months and who I am deploying with. We only had hours together but they were well spent and I am happy I had this opportunity, especially because I made him help me with the lifting… ;)

So, very early tomorrow “I am leaving on a jet plane” but you can bet your sweet selves that I will be back again and then…we will have a party.

The Meaning of Butterflies...

Because it evolves from egg to caterpillar to chrysalis and then emerges in its full glory from an inert cocoon, the primary symbolism of a butterfly is that of the soul, transformation and rebirth—the creation of life from apparent death. To the Chinese, the butterfly is an emblem of immortality. Conversely, because of its flight behavior, the Japanese regard it as a symbol of fickleness and compare it with vain women; a pair of butterflies, however, signifies marital happiness, and a white butterfly represents the spirit of the dead. Christian tradition accepts the butterfly as an emblem of resurrection (the caterpillar signifying life and the cocoon death), but has additionally considered it a symbol of vanity and transience because it lives for such a short time. In Ancient Greece, Psyche was represented as a butterfly because both shared the same name. In dream analysis, the butterfly denotes new beginnings.

A Mother's Day Without My Kids

It seems like time is just flying by here now. We are in the last stretch of our training trying to plan out all the things we need to do to get out of here with everything that we need. We have been training on how to clear and search buildings—something that our team will not be doing, hopefully. We also had convoy live fires last week and were out in the field until 4:30 am. Besides those few days, there has been a lot of down time which makes me a little upset because I rather spend that time with my kids at home.

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day and it had to admit that it was the hardest Mother’s Day for me. I have been away from my kids before during Mother’s Day but there is something about knowing that you won’t spend the next one with them either that makes me sad, very sad. My children are going through many changes and I have to learn about them through emails and phone calls. I find this unfair but…these times shall also pass and things are going to be better.

The past 9 months of my life have been a true revelation for me. I have spent so much time by myself I had no choice but to get to know Vanessa, to know who I really am. I feel like I have done years of growing while being away. My senses, my emotions and the way I look at life is so much different than how it was last summer. I have truly learned to appreciate the little things in life. Being here in Kansas—especially—has been a true test to my strength but somehow I have learned to find something beautiful that will keep me smiling at least once a day.

Therefore, to make my day a little better and to find some peace, I drove west to a state park where I laid on the grass and chased butterflies all day. It was cute…I saw some Monarch and Red Admiral butterflies—also known as Vanessa atalanta—they were flying all around me and so, in my loneliness, I found comfort and beauty. I guess this was a reminder that there’s beauty everywhere, you just have to choose to see it…you have to open your eyes and see the things that are right in front of you before they fly away. I am being blessed now by seeing all the beauty around me and recognizing it as such. Here's a Vanessa atalanta...

This is the sunset over the reservoir and also a picture of the country side in the plains of the midwest...there's peace everywhere you want to find it...